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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29509434">Wanting/Getting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/quaffanddoff/pseuds/quaffanddoff'>quaffanddoff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Political RPF - US 21st c.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambition, Angst, F/M, Office Sex, Pining, Power Dynamics, Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:29:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29509434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/quaffanddoff/pseuds/quaffanddoff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact that she can’t have him is maddening—but that’s exactly what makes the whole thing so alluring.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe Biden/Kamala Harris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wanting/Getting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The fact that she can’t have what she wants is maddening.</p><p>The knowledge that she’ll never get to touch him besides those few brief moments of "accidental" contact that would be so mundane if they were truly inadvertent and not, in reality, carefully orchestrated and eagerly anticipated; the realization that part of him wants her, too, but the same integrity that drew her to him in the first place prevents him from ever indulging his desires; the idea that she will never feel the satisfaction of realizing even the dimmest of her many exquisite dreams. These facts are all intolerable to her. </p><p>The fact that she can’t have him is maddening—but that’s exactly what makes the whole thing so alluring. Having him so close, yet ultimately unattainable, is delicious agony. She knows her craving will never be satisfied. So she has no choice but to fuel it further.</p><p>Of course, her saner self recognizes that no reality could ever hope to live up to the implausible fantasies her imagination conjures. She knows the world doesn’t really work that way. People don’t just dive into each other’s arms heedless of all taboos, rules, and restrictions; they don't discover a perfect, magical connection right away, nor do they find instant, flawless sexual chemistry. Her experiences navigating love and lust over the course of her nearly 60 years have left her jaded and rather cynical. Separating from Doug was only the latest in a long series of disappointing yet unsurprising developments. She is used to both her expectations and her needs going unmet. </p><p>She's been down this road before. She knows better (or, at least, she ought to). Even if she had learned nothing from all her experiences, her friends have spent plenty of time and effort warning her about this one. They couldn't understand why she would risk losing a wonderful man like Doug for her boss, a man who has made it plain that he isn't available.</p><p>But she's always had a thing for the unattainable. She always goes for the guy playing hard to get. Simply knowing she can't have something is enough to make her obsess over it. And vice versa: knowing that she <i>can</i> have something somehow seems to strip it of its value.</p><p>This pattern isn’t confined only to the sexual realm: unfortunately, it pervades every area of her life. She is well known for her political prowess, but even her professional accomplishments feel hollow once attained, no matter how enticing they seemed while she was pursuing them. It pains her now to look back on all the effort expended and sacrifices made while chasing those mirages of fulfillment. She knows she should feel grateful for the victory that had won her her current position. For once, she had allowed herself to hope that a feat like this, her most wildly ambitious achievement to date, would be worth it. But here she is, barely started on her first term in office, and the luster has already worn off.</p><p>She does love working with him still, even though it has gotten a little tense between them. She can no longer deny how much she wants him and it's starting to show.</p><p>The times when she couldn’t get what she wanted were frustrating, certainly, but those weren’t the biggest disappointments she’s experienced. The <i>real</i> frustrations were the times when she got what she wanted but found it held no appeal for her after all, that it fell short of her hopes, that it had never been worth wanting in the first place. She came to realize that wanting is one kind of suffering, but getting is another.</p><p>So she has learned the lesson well: that if she ever actually gets what she wants, she won’t even want it anymore. To her, that is a self-evident fact.</p><p>And that is why, late one night in the office, when he relents at last and she is finally, impossibly, seized by his gentle hands and pulled into a searing kiss, she is expecting another letdown. As he lifts her onto his desk, where she finds herself immobilized by her own disbelief as much as by his secure embrace, she doubts the evidence of her own senses. And even as he pulls up her skirt and rips her panties down her thighs with uncharacteristic ferocity, the sudden exposure making her gasp in a mixture of shock and arousal, she is still waiting for the bubble to burst.</p><p>But gradually, haltingly, as he frees himself from the confines of his trousers and presses the tip to her entrance, pausing momentarily to kiss the breath out of her once again, she begins to question her deeply-held, hard-won assumptions. She has just enough wherewithal to clutch his shoulders, slim and sturdy in their fine-textured suit jacket, before he pushes inside in one long and (could it be?) satisfying stroke. He drives into her over and over, just the way she’s always hoped, just like in her sensational dreams, each thrust bringing her simultaneously closer to ecstasy and closer to the realization that this time is different: this time, for once, she might actually want what she gets.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Recommended listening: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm-ftnA8AUg&amp;ab_channel=JayN">Needing/Getting by OK Go.</a></p><p>Fun fact: this originally started out as a 30 Rock fic (but not with the characters you're thinking).</p></blockquote></div></div>
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